living lola mantra via My Chickas

While I don’t remember posing for this picture, maybe it was that awesome champagne in my hand, I do love the sentiment.

Living Lola Life Lesson:

Always keep a good bottle of champagne in the fridge. Today just may be the day that calls for the bubbly. You never know what is coming around the corner.

Be prepared to celebrate.

via TCM

Classic Champagne Cocktail 

1 dash of angostura bitters

1 sugar cube

Cold, dry champagne

Twist of lemon peel

 Add the dash of bitters to the sugar cube in the bottom of a chilled champagne glass and slowly pour in the champagne. Garnish with the lemon peel.

Cheers,

lola

Mary Shelley via behappy.me

On this very rainy Spring day, I find myself offering “new beginning” messages and advice to some of the closest people in my life. And, God, by no means do I have the answers. I just happen to have an over-abundance of the one thing that always seems to be the most annoying thing to the people closest in my life: a positive, self-disciplined, roll up your sleeves and show some muscle, “We can do this” spirit.

Several friends and family going through divorce. Some starting ALL over. Devastating and heart-breaking, yes. But, I also see the liberating, shake up the Etch-a-Sketch side. The fresh start. The clean slate. (This is usually where annoyance kicks in.)

Our kids, all in their twenties, are all making big life changing choices right now, as well. Ah, but that is what your twenties are for, no? The growing and maturing out from under and away from your parents. Trying on new locales, lifestyles and different jobs to see what is a good fit.

“Good fit”…hmm?….well, let me start with that.

New you. If you are trying to actually get fit, then do it now. It will never be as easy as it is in your twenties. Just saying. Make it a habit now. Get crazy about it. Fall in love with being good to your body. You will always have to be active in some way, as long as there is good food and cocktails. So start the self-discipline this minute. You will thank me when you are 47. And, you can thank me by taking me out for a cocktail.

New cities. Did you leave home to go to college, swearing you’d be back in four years? Do you stay in your college town, because it is just that awesome? Do you live where you have always dreamt of living? What holds you back? Do it now.  Now, while you’re young, nimble and traveling light. Spouses, jobs, kids weigh a freaking ton. It is so much harder to chase your dreams with a conga line of baggage. Albeit, beautiful and loving and Louis Vuitton-esque. It is still baggage. Even with the LV’s plastered all over it, it is STILL heavy.

New jobs. This is what you wanted that awesome education for, right? Get the job you love! Take your passion, make it happen…Irene Cara that interview! (Didn’t get that reference? Hello! I said, I am F O R T Y-S E V E N.)

You have the entire internet to find any possible job anywhere in the whole wide world. WORLD! That is why it is called the WORLD WIDE WEB. Do you know how utterly amazing that is? There are jobs everywhere. There are “engines” that do the searching for you. GO!  Go get yours. All you have to do is click, swipe and press send on your computer, iPad, smart phone, tablet or (insert latest gadget here). Done, resume sent. Do it now.

Poor things, you won’t ever even know what it’s like to dirty your fingers with black newspaper ink, scrolling the “want ads” for any little job possibility, in your field, in your one town!  “Gee, that’s a great story, Grandma.”

New friends. Who lasted from High School? Which college friends held your hair back while you vomited and will be in your wedding? Choose well and they will last a lifetime. Now, is the time to cut loose the friends that are not adding to the flavor of your life. It is okay to have fond acquaintances from your youth, but they just may not fit into your recipe for life, at this time. Hell, some may have even past their expiration date.

If you hang with people who bring you down, scoff at your adventurous ideas for an exciting life, offer back hand compliments or just plainly suck the very marrow from your bones, then, gently and gracefully, (always gracefully) cut these people loose. You don’t have to be ugly about it. It is only natural. We all grow at different paces. Surely, you’ve outgrown those epic vampire love stories by now. I’m sure you’ve out grown a few life-sucking friends, as well. Do it now.

With all friends, love, marriage and the baby carriage timelines will change everything and will never be in sync, again. You cannot plan that part, you just have to adapt and keep your heart open. Single, married, kids or not, there is a season for it all. It is different for everyone. (Although, it could easily be my new age of 47, but, don’t all of the couples with multiple kids, in these current TV car commercials look like 20-year-old Jason Mraz-ish prototypes? Not everyone can pull off that hat, Kia car advertising department!)

You see kids, the gold nugget that I feel I have been repeating lately, over and over, to loved ones in distress, of all ages, is this:

It is not just on the New Year or birthdays or during the renewing forces of Spring. It comes with every single day. Every single sunrise; a new beginning. Isn’t that amazing? (“Don’t you think that’s amazing?!)

Even on a random, rainy Friday.

A new chance. A new hope to create and live and be the person that you strive to be. It doesn’t happen overnight. It happens with every little step you take in the right direction. YOUR direction. Every single day. But, starting now.

Action. Discipline. Habit. Routine.

Life-changing awesomeness awaits.

What are you going to do, now?

Annoying pep talks, anytime.

So, for my forty-schmismosh birthday last week, my wonderful husband treated me to my ultimate fantasy: The TCM Film Festival in Hollywood.

(Don’t even want to know what you were thinking.)

For those of you who follow me on Twitter or Instagram or are related to me or are my friends or were standing next to me in the grocery line yesterday, I apologize for showing this yet, again.

But, holy hell. THIS. HAPPENED.

The incomparable Robert Osborne

Don’t you just love the way he is cozied up to me? Like we’re old friends. Well, to me, he is. He will always be. I love Robert Osborne. He was as gracious and dapper as I thought he’d be. The perfect host. Lark just has to deal with it.

 I will be waiting with bated breath this fall, when tickets for next year’s film fest will go on sale. Larkin and I had the time of our lives and have vowed to go back every year.

With Larkin at the Vanity Fair party

Many of the movies I attended, I admit, I have seen numerous times. But, never on the big screen.

Some digitally remastered, some not. All amazing.

But, even more fascinating than re-watching them, as they were meant to be viewed, were the introductions.  Legendary filmmakers, actors, directors…discussing the details, the memories, the experience of taking part in creating these classics.

Tears filled my eyes, when we all gasped in surprise when Cher was introduced to kick off “Funny Girl”. (You may remember, she was one of my first mentors. See “About Lola”)

Cher introducing “Funny Girl”

I heard Tippi Hedren and Norman Lloyd speak of working with Alfred Hitchcock. I was totally amazed by The Birds; a film I’ve seen many times. It sounded absolutely terrifying in the historical Grauman’s TCL Chinese Theatre. It felt like a totally different film.

I swooned over Cary Grant in Hitchcock’s Notorious. In my opinion, he is the most gorgeous, debonair male lead of all time. All these years, watching all of his movies, but finally…there he was….larger than life. I sigh, just typing this.

 Albert Maysels discussed his capturing the infamous “killing” on film while working on the Rolling Stones documentary, Gimme Shelter. The creators of Aiplane!, Jim Abrahams, David Zucker and star Robert Hayes had us all rolling in the aisles before the film even started. Laughing and reciting the lines of Airplane! with 1100 other fans is something I will never forget.

I cried along with Jane Fonda as she recalled the therapeutic making of her father’s last film, On Golden Pond; triumphantly winning Henry Fonda his first Best Actor Academy Award, at the end of his life.

Robert Osborne with Jane Fonda

So many touching stories behind the camera, enriching the 40 foot screen dramas that lit up my face for those four amazing days. It was nothing less than movie magic.

Since it was my first festival, I paced myself and actually ate meals. There are many passionate fans that survive on popcorn and protein bars and fill 12 hours a day with films. I took “Happy Hour” at the Roosevelt Hotel quite seriously. We all have our different means of survival. And, hey, it WAS my birthday weekend.

#TCMParty

On a personal level, I finally met Twitter friends that follow TCM and share an affinity for classic films. Putting names to faces is nothing like putting names to avatars to Twitter handles to real names, then real faces. I kept smiling like a jack ass to people I was sure I knew. But, did I?

Sometimes there are 100 of us watching an old film together via Twitter, sometimes just a handful. With one hashtag, we connect in some sort of modern, technical, pen pal, friends from camp that you only see once a year, kind of way. We assemble from all over the country and beyond, sharing trivia, tidbits and stories. And, with no one shhh-ing us. It’s pretty damn cool.

I treasure my true, real-life, talk-on the phone, “help me bury the body” friends; they know everything about me and still love me. (And politely gloss over my TCM obsession.)

I have Twitter friends that share like-minded interests and know nothing about me except what I tell them in 140 characters or less. I love the daily banter, links, recipes and revelry that fill my time line.

My TCM Twitter friends and I share a true love of classic films that will live forever.

And, that is a love that will outlive us all.

Kind of like my love for my husband. And, Robert Osborne.

 For a true classic film education, I highly suggest the following blogs:

 Cinematically Insane

Once Upon a Screen

 Outspoken and Freckled

Joel’s Classic Film Passion

Comet Over Hollywood

 Paula’s Cinema Club

The Boy turned 20 this week. My baby is 20.

Just like when I turned 30. 40. Reflection is inevitable.

Larkin and I have had more than the lion’s share of teenager-dom. 17 years. 17 years straight of raising crazy, wonderful, lying, beautiful, self-centered, manipulative teenagers. As Jordan aptly replied, “Puh, teenagers…they’re the worst.” Right?!

I see them. My contemporaries. Celebrities and dignitaries my age. Damn, they look good. But, did they have to raise teenagers for 17 straight years?! I am making frown lines on my brow, as I type.

When you hold those babies in the hospital, gently brushing their faces with the scant wisp of your forefinger, you never imagine the teenage years. The time period in which you will become the un-coolest, dumbest, “you don’t understand” version of your parents. Simpletons, really, just trying to manage on the same planet with the mood-changing creatures you created. A creation you honestly question a few times as they change plans, yet again, miss curfew or simply roll their eyes for the umpteenth time.

Tick, tock. The bells toll.

Joshua is 20. He is filled with a wisdom and a deep soul that I have seen before. He is swimming the pools of his father’s waters. I am in awe. Cautiously optimistic, yet still in awe.

Jordan, graduated from Boston University. Moving to L.A. Headed to Hollywood with determination, wit and wisdom, far beyond her years. Strength and grace. She is simply amazing.

Nicole, an entrepreneurial success, just like her dad. A talented, creative photographer in Austin. Making her own magic happen.

Monica, our oldest. Determined, charging her path, claiming her career as a successful Houston lawyer. Never doubted it for a minute.

Together, the four of them, all in their 20′s. (At least for a few month’s anyway.) Each live in a different city, across 3 states. One goes down, the other three rally. They are lucky. We are lucky. And grateful.

Dear Children,

I raise my glass to the four of you. We made it. You grew up. You matured and/or are maturing. Each of you, your own pace. I won’t name names.

Thank God you are not the same kids you were from 1996-2013. May those goofy, clueless, lovable souls live on, deep within your hearts. Personally, I hold every one of those stay up all night and worry years, close to my heart…and brow line…and grayed scalp line.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

But, just so you know, there isn’t anything you tried to pull on me that I couldn’t see right through. You had to lie. You had to push the envelope. You thought you knew it all. I know you had to go through it. You had to get to the other side. 

I know. I was once a teenager, too. Just ask Nana & Papa.

And, let’s be honest. It was all pretty “Boy Meets World” compared to that of your dad’s teenage years. At least now, we can all marvel at Uncle Josh’s new book, All The Wild Children, and truly appreciate how good we had it. 

And, for a moment, bask in the glory that you were NEVER that wild. Blessed be God. Love, Lola

I have not yet read my brother-in-law’s latest book that was just released this week. I have been warned. But, I know my bro’s talent; I expect an excellent read of his “noir memoir”.

Psshaw. You can’t scare me. I’ve raised four of these “wild children”.  All with the same last name.

Update: I read the book in one day! I couldn’t put it down. It was like I really knew the characters…oh, wait…that’s right. I married into this cast of characters!

Excellent, poignant, heart wrenching, honest, beautiful….bad words, sex scenes and all. What a triumph for my brother-in-law, Josh Stallings. I am so proud.  To my sister-in-law, Erika, your patience continues to astound.

And to All of the Wild Children everywhere, call your parents. They miss you.

I stumbled. I was a little wobbly. I am back up again.

I just couldn’t bring myself to post without sounding perfectly intentional or inspirational. It’s just a tiny blog! You’d think I was trying to write a sequel to the I Ching.

I was totally over-thinking it. Trying too hard. Perfectionism is venom in the veins of creativity.

And then a friend of mine from the Vineyard sent me this video. It reminded me that simple beauty, perfection and creative inspiration can come from the most humble of places.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
That’s how the light gets in.
~Leonard Cohen

That was the intent of my Living Lola blog all along. A small serving of creating a beautiful, meaningful life from the banquet of everyday living.

Simply put, it has been tumultuous times in Texas. Honestly, I’d settle for a little mundane right now. It isn’t anything I can’t handle. In fact, it is just another opportunity to widen the frame and sharpen the focus. Doesn’t the struggle make the story?  Or something like that? I know I want good lighting. Anyway…

So, back to basics. Gently coated anecdotes, well-intentioned wisdom, good food, brilliant beverages. Creative, authentic, sincere living.

I Ching, rest assured. “Book II-Dynasty Quest” has been shelved.

the Scared is scared from Bianca Giaever on Vimeo.

Busy just doesn’t cover it.

I am not complaining. I am more than lucky. I know that. I live a big, full life; trying to practice what I preach.

I was fortunate to spend a few days in NYC with my girlfriends. We did a little shopping, caught the musical “Once”, which I highly recommend. We stayed up late drinking champagne, played Scrabble in our pajamas and laughed and laughed and laughed. It was just one of those ‘good for your soul’ trips. Not hectic or over-planned. Just fun.

One of the best parts of the trip was taking a total tourist turn and hopping on a “Movie/TV” tour of the city. My  partner-in-crime, JWH, couldn’t contain the antics as I shot my hand up at every trivia question. I may have even sang a Seinfeld bit for the whole entire bus. But, I had to stop before I became the “obnoxious know-it-all from Texas.”

 We were more than fortunate to catch the last plane back to Texas before Hurricane Sandy hit. Since we are all seasoned Gulf Coast hurricane warriors, we would have found a way to “survive” at our swanky hotel. Larkin and my contractor were ready for me to get back home…and get back to work on our “little” project.

Project Restoration is steam rolling ahead. I have never worked with a more positive, dedicated group of people. I love our contractor, the crew, the plumbers, the electricians. They all greet me each day with smiles and “Miss Jackie” this and “Miss Jackie” that. What’s not to love?!

They sing along with the classic rock booming through the rooms. There hasn’t been a structural or design problem that we haven’t been able to solve creatively, not to mention easily. It just feels like we are a team, all working to bring this old house back to her old glory.

Bags unpacked from NYC and the contractor’s “to do” list all caught up, it was time for one of my favorite nights of the year. Halloween. I love, love Halloween. Dressing up, scaring young children, kid candy in “fun sizes”: I love it all.

Larkin and I, along with Jen and Tim (my sis and bro-in-law) dressed up as KISS.  As you can see, we are not camera-shy nor do we have a fear of jack-assery.

And, then, just like that, it became November.

Our President was re-elected.  Now, suddenly, it’s almost Thanksgiving.

This week, I am holed up on Martha’s Vineyard at the cozy Red Door Cottage, far far away from the restoration and remodeling that is going on, back in Houston. The fire is going and holiday music is quietly filling the air.

So, in the spirit of the week:

I am thankful for this cozy vacation home. I am thankful for the soon to be completed home waiting for us, back in Texas. I am thankful for my husband that has worked hard to purchase said homes. I am thankful that he is getting a much-needed break.

I am thankful to have 3 out of 4 kids here this week. I am thankful that the “missing” daughter is realizing her dream and working in Austin. I am thankful for the family and friends that make my life full. (Full of what, exactly, depends on the day.)

I am thankful for my health, good food, Manhattans, TCM, the Pats, Scrabble gals, Twitter pals, laughter and my pup, Juliet.

 But, mostly, I am thankful that I have been busy living.

Set out and do it. Really. Whatever you truly want.

Career, relationship, parenting, dream home. Just like your next trip to the grocery store, it all starts with a plan.

Precise, direct, simple.

But, a life well-lived is not supposed to be precise or direct. Certainly not, simple.

Keep your aim in the general direction. Roll up your sleeves and be prepared for the hard work. Setbacks, big and small, await. Dig deep, breathe and fight your way through.

If you really want it, then it is worth fighting for.

 When the really big obstacles become just that, obstacles…step back. Think outside the box. Look at it another way.

There is always a way.

And, I’m pretty sure it won’t take six men to figure it out.

all photos from our first week of demo and salvage at our Woodland Heights house in Houston, Texas 

“Old Granville place”- It’s a Wonderful Life

George: You see, you make a wish and then try and break some glass. And you got to be a pretty good shot nowadays, too.
Mary: Oh, no, George, don’t. It’s full of romance, that old place. I’d like to live in it.
George: In that place?!
Mary: Uh-huh.
George: I wouldn’t live in it as a ghost. 

Day One

Okay, so it’s not quite the “old Granville place” but, there is a broken window upstairs. Besides, Lark and I have always loved “It’s a Wonderful Life.”  FunFact: We actually have a picture of “George and Mary” in our house. 

Pressing on.

Day one was a successful romp through the plans and procedures of what is to come. Trying to decide what walls stay, which walls go. Can we add a bath here? Is a clawfoot tub really practical? Should Juliet get her own room? These are the questions.

The first floor, not so bad. It looks harmless. Nice floors. Pull up the carpet. Reconfigure the space.

Sand, paint and, oh, yeah…add a kitchen! Enter Tom Hanks and Shelley Long.

 Yep. This is the current kitchen. You can tell by the paper towels and wine.

The second floor has plenty of room for creative control. From the bank of windows, I can see Russia! Sorry. But, we do have a fabulous view of the downtown Houston skyline. Probably going to need a good tree trimming service, though.

Our Master suite is sounding pretty sweet. My one big add-on today:  coffee bar upstairs. As we get older, navigating the stairs in the morning, on the hunt for precious caffeine is getting quite dangerous. Better to be safe.

Ellie, our architectural designer; Scott, our contractor and Jack, our lender with Larkin. Lots of discussion on “what will be” and when the first party will be.

The ivy drapes will not be. Already in the dumpster. I don’t do vintage drapes. Something about the dust…and smell. But, there are little treasures here and there. Fixtures, old glass, gorgeous doors. Restoring an old house is something I have always wanted to do.

It is going to be a lot of work, but I am so excited that I can hardly stand myself.

I am telling you, this house has the potential to be “Before and After” porn.

But, we’ll keep it more “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

Not really. But, life is going to be just that for the next several months.

Larkin and I have decided to purchase and restore a c.1900 home in the historic Woodland Heights neighborhood, part of The Heights in Houston,Texas.

We will close on the property next week. This weekend, however, the house will serve as the setting to a fundraiser benefitting the re-opening of the Historic Houston Salvage Warehouse. Historic Houston is a resource for reclaimed historic building materials.

In the country’s fourth largest and “coolest”city, according to Forbe’s magazine, it is vital to preserve our historic places, while growing, building and modernizing. You could spend hours and hours on the internet, reading stats and graphs documenting all of the benefits of using salvaged and reclaimed materials.

To me, however, the benefits are simply fundamental. Reusing, reclaiming and recycling while “re-storing” is just common courtesy, no?  Helping out the planet, our Mother Earth, as she has taken care of us.

Let me be quite clear, though. We are not building a “green” house or going off the grid. Just sensible salvaging, wherever we can, while restoring the beauty and integrity of this vintage home, with a little Living Lola style, of course.

For those of you in the area, interested in seeing the “before” and helping out a great cause, I am including the details for this Sunday’s event.

I will be updating and posting pictures of our chaos, I mean, progress.

Lola in a hard hat. This should be stunning.

Please join Ashton Martini of Martha Turner Properties for a fundraiser benefitting Historic Houston at 2615 Beauchamp in Woodland Heights on Sunday, Sept. 23rd from 3-6 PM. Help “restore” and re-open Historic Houston’s Salvage Warehouse and tour this c. 1900 home in the early stages of its own restoration. Enjoy good food and wine and take this opportunity to make your donation to help re-open Historic Houston’s Salvage Warehouse as a resource for reclaimed historic building materials in Houston. Bring your friends and support this great organization! 

www.LivingLola.com

September. Almost the middle, no less. Wow.

Larkin and I have had some big decisions to make lately. Some were made for us. What happened to the lazy days of summer?! Business life, family life and our personal life have all posed big crossroads for us.

“What do they call it…when everything intersects? The Bermuda Triangle.” – Sleepless in Seattle

When a challenge appears, you can look at it as a speed bump to slow you down or an adventure to live and learn from.

After almost 25 years together, I know this much is true about our relationship:  Lark and I will always choose adventure.

It’s a main tenet of Living Lola. When faced with a challenge, presented with a slight chance at a dream or risking it all for what’s behind Door #3, we are just crazy enough to do it.

The doubt, fear and uncertainty usually lasts…about…9… seconds…then, we are all about, “Oh, we can so do this!” High-five-ing, trash talking ensues. Nobody is a bigger fan of Jack & Lark, than we are.

Don’t get me wrong. We practice The Art of Doing Nothing like a freaking religion. Just ask the “family” bag of M&M’s and “family” box of Annie’s Cheddar Bunnies we can put away, lying in bed, watching movies and DVR essentials. We celebrate our down time, full-out. Also, a Living Lola tenet.

Just when it gets comfortable and settled for a length of time, boom! We can shake things up pretty quickly by taking a sharp left turn, that wasn’t even on the map.

“Hey, let’s get married!”  they said, after only knowing each other for two months.

“Let’s put our kids in private school and move to the city!” they said, soon after they moved into their new suburban dream home, that they had built.

“Let’s buy a vacation home on Martha’s Vineyard!” said the couple who lived 2000 miles AND a ferry ride away.

“I know! We can sell our big house and get rid of all our stuff and get a grown-up townhome!” they cried, when their kids left the nest…and kept coming back.

Yep. Adventure is calling. I can feel it coming. Something is in the hot, September Texas air.